06 September 2023


My sweet Natalie has started her journey into her first year of middle school, and my sweet Vana has started her journey on her last year of preschool! 

She was happy to go back and I think she really needs the socialization and structure it provides. We were/have been dealing with some unsavory behavior from her. Not to smear her reputation but she was having some aggressive behavior that made me sad. I don’t like to see her so upset and lashing out because she doesn’t know how to deal. We tried talking to her (gentle parenting), reading books, talking about coping techniques, time outs, consequences like no tv, and being very firm about how not okay it is to hurt others. I am not sure why this behavior began. We certainly didn’t teach her it at home. I did notice a correlation between it and when I started working more, however. It also reached it peak over the summer it seems (and I hope that was the worst of it). Perhaps the shift in our normal lives made her act out. 

Anyway, I hope and pray school will be a positive influence and will help stabilize things. I fear her getting upset and school and not dealing well. I also fear her going to kindergarten because I’m just not sure she’ll enjoy the setting or long hours. At her school now they basically just play on a playground for three hours (of course there are very important things they do in between play). I also fear she is a little behind on her speech still and worry she doesn’t have confidence to speak up or she’ll get made fun of. I wish I could just wrap my kids in a bubble of protection from feeling sad or upset but of course that’s not possible (nor healthy). 

Vana had her first dental visit yesterday (I know 4 is a bit old to get your first dental checkup but we didn’t have dental insurance and cannot afford the outrageous out of pocket costs). She did SO good! She was just smiley and cooperative and patient and chill. Her teeth looked amazing with little plaque, no cavities and no concerns! She got a ballon and then we walked to the grocery store (on the way we ran into one of her teachers going to the coffee shop). I was so bummed because at the store her balloon got away from her. I told her we would walk back to the dentist and ask for a new one but we did and everyone was on their lunch break and the receptionist didn’t know how to use the helium tank. She handled it so well though. 

Well that was a snippet into our lives that I wanted to jot down before I forget forever. I have been feeling a bit zombie like and like I’m in a daze/fog. Makes me concerned for my health. Matt assures me it’s just what happens as we get older and because theres always so much going on but it makes me feel like I’m losing my mind.