17 February 2023

Special Persons Day

 Valentines Day has passed but there’s still plenty of love in the air! Vanessa had her first “special persons day” at her preschool today where they invited the dads (or someone else if dad couldn’t make it but luckily for her class they all could make it) to school for a special performances, to pass out valentines and to enjoy some quality time together! Matt’s such an amazing dad and despite a job demanding in responsibly, as well as an out of the blue dental issue (cracked tooth), he made the time to go. (We both agreed Vanessa would be horribly sad to see the other fathers there and not hers so it was definitely high priority for him to make it.) I am so glad they got to have this experience (even though Vana won’t remember it). She also had an adorable questionnaire about Matt filled out where she said he was 100 years old and other funny things. 

Valentines Day is my favorite holiday and I usually make a big deal about it but this year I was just too tired to put in the effort that’s typical. I still had a good day and didn’t completely neglect it but it didn’t feel the same (because it wasn’t). Matt and I hung out a bit at home while the kids were at school and then we picked Vana up and took her to lunch at Applebees (exquisite). After dinner we took the girls out for ice cream before Nats basketball practice. Natalie just started playing basketball and I am very proud! She’s new to the sport but she’ll put in good effort. You can tell she isn’t super confident when she’s on the court but I am impressed with her just for trying and I damn sure wouldn’t put myself out there like that at her age! She decided cheer wasn’t for her and since we didn’t pay any money for it and it was a hurdle in our schedule, we let her take that off her plate. I am glad she tried it though and love for her to be involved with sports. 

It’s been six weeks since I started my new job and I am on the fence about how I feel. It’s draining and I feel like every week I’m under the weather and burnt out. I am learning more about myself in the process and my likes and dislikes, strengths and weaknesses as well as my personality. I have super mixed feelings about my colleagues too. I honestly don’t know where this might lead, if anywhere. I really wanted a clear career path and professional growth but it’s really hard for me to be around negative people (ironic because my attitude often seems super pessimistic, I know). I don’t think another school would be any better, I think it’s just sadly the nature of work places in general. I do love working with kids but it’s a lot. It’s hard to feel like my coworkers are more interested in sitting around gossiping while I’m the only one properly supervising the children at the playground. It brings me down to hear them bitch about petty things and seem to have a general disdain for children at times (this is the minority but it only takes one bad apple…)

I know I am so lucky and people would love to have the support and freedoms I have so I try to keep things in perspective but it’s always tough to face problems in life. 

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