12 August 2020

False Alarm

So the apocalypse hasn't happened yet and humanity is still trucking along. Since I've started actually paying attention to politics for the first time ever I am more and more disgusted by the day. I fear for the future of the country I love and call home.

Still I am hopeful and somewhat optimistic that by the time my children are my age things will be much much better.

My girls certainly keep my busy and vice versa. There isn't much to do but we fill the days with trips to the playgrounds, sometimes up to 4 times a day. I try my best to limit screen time and keep it at 2 hours for Natalie and less than 1 hour for Vana. I don't know what the actual guidelines are and I don't care. Surviving this pandemic with a shred of sanity is important and I don't want to beat myself up over how much T.V. or stupid fucking TIktok my kids brains are being rotted with. 

Speaking of surviving, we had our first semi covid false alarm. On Saturday I woke up with a sore throat but literally since the beginning of coronavirus I have had an on and off sore throat and runny nose at times due to allergies. I didn't feel bad or think anything of it because again it's normal for me. I went to work and began feeling tired, another symptom my allergies cause and also a product of being a mom and woman. (I haven't pinpointed it but I believe some point in my cycle affects my energy levels.) Anyway, come Saturday night when I was off I was beat. I had dinner at my father in laws and usually Matt grocery shops and I put Vanessa to bed but I just didn't have it in me. Natalie began saying she didn't feel well and Vanessa wasn't herself either. Sunday the girls and I woke up definitely under the weather. Sore throats, runny noses, and fatigue were the initial symptoms. I immediately scheduled a phone visit to talk to a doctor and was told to go in Monday to get tested. My results came back negative yesterday (Tuesday). I started feeling almost 100% better Monday afternoon but there are moments I feel pretty meh again like this morning. Vanessa for sure isn't completely herself as she is very sensitive lately and her nose is a snot factory. Natalie is up and down and still running a mild fever on and off, in the 99's. She started complaining of a tummy ache last night and today. If it isn't covid then I am not really sure what it is. I guess a very mild flu. I wish they would run a flu test along with the coronavirus test too to help you figure out what you're ill with .Oh well. We are on the mend and very lucky. I definitely want to be more cautious now. Not that I was being reckless or anything. I am taking precautions but refuse to live in a bubble or a fear stricken life. I let Natalie play with some neighbors and we still see family. I'm not going out and partying with loads of people or refusing to wear a mask or anything. It still puts things in perspective though and is a dose of reality for sure. 

On another note Vanessa is such a little ham! She is hilarious and smart and sweet. There are so so many funny and cute things she has done. Yesterday morning she grabbed a pillow with two hands and whacked Matt in the face saying, "bop!" She pops out from behind things and says, "boo!" too. She gives kisses and will sit in your lap and cuddle. I got irritated with her today because I was trying to get ready to head outside but she was clinging to me crying. I said, "Oh my goodness Vanessa, I just need to put on my shoes!" and went to sit to get my socks on. She stopped crying and came out from the kitchen with one of my tennis shoes and handed it to me. Instant guilt overwhelmed me and I felt so bad for getting annoyed with my sweet baby. Then I asked her to find my other shoe and sure enough she came back with it. She understands so much. Once she brought me a bag of snacks while I was cooking dinner and I simply said, "Bring it to Natalie" since my hands were covered in chicken juice and she walked out to the livingroom and handed it to Nat. There are a ton of other things she does that impress and melt me but I can't really think of them right now.