07 July 2020


Getting in the mood to celebrate the 4th of July this year was challenging. One reason is because we couldn't have a big get together with friends like we usually do but more so because of the state of despair I feel like this country is in. It's daunting and wears your soul down. Nonetheless I got festive and pulled it together to enjoy an afternoon of family. I got to see my nieces and one nephew and my parent's. We hung out at my father in laws house (for spacing purposes and because he offered to have us there), had food, cake, swimming and sparklers. 

I'm not sure why but physically I haven't been feeling at my peak. I get tired and just feel blah. I've been talking about how I get dizzy randomly for a long time but I'm off any meds except for my thyroid medication. It doesn't happen too often but it does happen. Mood wise I'm feeling blah as well. I just want to have good energy and to be able to go places with my kids and to have more structure. We can go to some playgrounds but it's so hot most days. It's just depressing. 

02 July 2020

Life Lately

So much has happened that I haven't blogged about. My 9th wedding anniversary, my birthday with a beach trip and Vana's first birthday party.

There are loads of current events that have been happening too that have weighed so heavy on my heart. I fucking hate people so much. I mean, I always have, but now I really don't have the patience for their horseshit. A civil rights movement has been sparked for the death of a black man who was murdered by a cop. Racist people are doing everything they can to discredit and call the movement anti American. (Because that's how American racism is--when you're against it you're against America...) I have a lot more to say about all this but now isn't the post for it.

May 28th Matt and I celebrated 9 years of being married! We took an aimless drive out to the country. We were initially planning a picnic as our date with a willow picnic basket (the material for 9th anniversary) but it was pouring rain that morning. Even though the monsoon ended the ground was still soaked and I left the basket at home. We ended up eating at a Mexican restaurant outside, going shopping at Walmart and Lowes (super romantic) and stopping at a scenic overlook. It was a nice, childfree date.

June 12th I turned 30! Me, Matt, Natalie, Vanessa and my niece Bridget went to Ocean City, MD. We're still in the middle of a global pandemic but life has to go on. Our new normal consists of wearing face covering, extra sanitizing and "social distancing" aka remaining 6 feet apart from anyone not in your household. Anway we stayed at a nice hotel right on the beach that had 2 pools. The girls loved it. We just hung out, went to the beach and pool and out to eat and had a nice break from the mundane everyday of being cooped up in the house.

On June 20th we celebrated Vanessa's first birthday with family. (I strongly feel I'm being judged by some for talking about going on a trip and celebrating my daughter's birthday during the COVID outbreak but whatthefuckever.) It was a super low key party with parent's, siblings, nieces and nephews. We just had food and hung out but it was nice.

I still can't believe my baby is 1! She is seriously just the silliest, sweetest, smartest little girl.