Stress

The stress of being a mom to two children has set in and I'm beginning to lose my cool. Vanessa has been such hard work lately. Not only does she require being held ALL day but she wants constant stimulation. She's just fussy no matter what and naps are my only relief but she's not a good napper. It's put me on edge with Natalie and definitely Matt. I feel frustrated with him that he's always in the basement working or that he stays up later and sleeps in later or that I am constantly juggling everything with the kids and homelife and he's always forgetting everything I ever tell him ever. With Natalie I lose my patience since I have to repeat myself to her 100 times and then get snappy with her for not listening, causing her to get snappy back, causing me to get even more angry. Add a crying baby and busy husband to it all and it's just a recipe for a strenuous situation. I don't get to get much done in a day and it's a struggle to even keep up with basic house cleaning and having a clean house is something that helps me feel less stressed and more on top of things. The guilt for getting upset with my children for being children is awful and losing my patience is something I can never take back. I'm so lucky to be the mom to these girl's though. They're amazing.  Natalie is such a mature and understanding girl. Last night I was apologizing to her for being so impatient lately and she said, "it's okay, I know Vanessa cries a lot and Daddy works all the time and you get frustrated, that's why I want to help out and watch Vanessa so you can nap." And she does. She does help out so much.  I would never put the responsibility of taking care of her sister on her but every day after school she asks to take the baby into her room and play with her. She'll have me give her toys, diapers and a bottle and she'll entertain Vanessa for a half hour or so. I'm so lucky and feel like a bad mom when I can't handle my girls.  Thank goodness for the forgiving nature Natalie has towards me.