Five Months

Vanessa is five months old today! I can't believe she's 5 months and I can't believe I've managed to continue with the monthly photos and blog posts!

Life's been busy and a bit stressful. Much more settled than my previous post, thankfully. I'm not as high strung as I was. I honestly think I was just PMS'ing when it felt like everything hit the fan. I'm off the Zoloft because it made me horribly dizzy. I switched to Wellbutrin but that too made me dizzy so for a week now I've been completely off of meds. I feel okay. Perhaps a bit weepier than when I was taking it. I really think it helped with my PMS though, big time.

I know a lot of people frown upon needing medication as a crutch but if you felt like I did or even had to deal with me you would understand. Unfortunately (or maybe fortunately) I physically can't tolerate it it seems.

Alright, that's the 5 month update on the postpartum bit. Now let's talk about the beautiful baby girl I have!

Vanessa is growing like a little blossoming flower! She got her first ear infection and I took her to the doctors on the 18th and she measured 27.5 inches, which is almost an inch and a half worth of growth in 4 weeks!

The ear infection doesn't seem to bother her too much (or maybe it does, it's so hard to figure babies out) but the antibiotics are messing with her gut. Bad diarrhea and she seems to be uncomfortable at night, waking frequently.

She's not super keen on solids, except she seemed to like peaches but it's hard to find baby food for her because everything is a combination of various fruit/veggie mixes and she's only supposed to have one food at a time.

I am 99% sure she learned to roll from belly to back yesterday! I wasn't paying too much attention because when she allows me to put her down I am trying to get things done or just have a minute to myself but she was definitely on her belly then I looked and she was back on her back. My mother in law had the same thing happen today when she wasn't paying attention either.

That's all I have the energy to write or think about for now. I felt like there was so much more to talk about but I can't think.

Happy 5 months, sweet girl!

Stress

The stress of being a mom to two children has set in and I'm beginning to lose my cool. Vanessa has been such hard work lately. Not only does she require being held ALL day but she wants constant stimulation. She's just fussy no matter what and naps are my only relief but she's not a good napper. It's put me on edge with Natalie and definitely Matt. I feel frustrated with him that he's always in the basement working or that he stays up later and sleeps in later or that I am constantly juggling everything with the kids and homelife and he's always forgetting everything I ever tell him ever. With Natalie I lose my patience since I have to repeat myself to her 100 times and then get snappy with her for not listening, causing her to get snappy back, causing me to get even more angry. Add a crying baby and busy husband to it all and it's just a recipe for a strenuous situation. I don't get to get much done in a day and it's a struggle to even keep up with basic house cleaning and having a clean house is something that helps me feel less stressed and more on top of things. The guilt for getting upset with my children for being children is awful and losing my patience is something I can never take back. I'm so lucky to be the mom to these girl's though. They're amazing.  Natalie is such a mature and understanding girl. Last night I was apologizing to her for being so impatient lately and she said, "it's okay, I know Vanessa cries a lot and Daddy works all the time and you get frustrated, that's why I want to help out and watch Vanessa so you can nap." And she does. She does help out so much.  I would never put the responsibility of taking care of her sister on her but every day after school she asks to take the baby into her room and play with her. She'll have me give her toys, diapers and a bottle and she'll entertain Vanessa for a half hour or so. I'm so lucky and feel like a bad mom when I can't handle my girls.  Thank goodness for the forgiving nature Natalie has towards me.

Countdown to 8

Exactly one month left of having a 7 year old! Natalie is such an amazing little girl. She's so funny and silly and clever and smart. She is also dramatic and whiny and negative at times, like all kids. She is the BEST big sister in the world, hands down.

I was lucky enough to attend her class STEAM party today and it was fun! I was glad to be at her school, seeing her class and being in the presence of her classmates and teacher. It was a good time.