10 July 2019

2 Weeks

Vanessa had her two week check up on Monday. She gained 1 and a half pounds since birth and weighs 9 lbs 4.5 ounces. She was still measuring at 21 1/2 inches, which is what she was the day after she was born, but the doctor said that didn't mean she didn't grow, just that it's hard to measure babies when they don't cooperate. That's the 83rd percentile for weight and 95th for height. Her head circumference was 36.8 cm, which is the 92nd.

We had a rough night because she does not want to sleep on her back. She sleeps well in the day time being held or in her rocker chair but when I lay her down in her crib she wakes up after a minute or two 95% of the time. She was also waking up every hour last night to eat and seemed like she was having tummy issues. Her becoming a good sleeper and being able to soothe herself and sleep in a crib is my biggest stressor when it comes to parenting an infant. Natalie was not a good sleeper and we did nothing to encourage her to learn to sleep on her own, we just rocked her to sleep or took her on midnight car rides frequently, on top of her sleeping in bed with us for 5 years.

Speaking of Natalie, things with her have been a bit challenging the last few days. She had so much attitude the other night and we had to ground her and it just wasn't fun. I chalk it up to her not having a consistent schedule. She is a good kid and I feel bad when I lose my cool with her but it does get frustrating to repeat myself over and over again and her to get snotty with us. She's still an amazing big sister and honestly helpful though.

Most days I feel like I keep it together really well. I keep the house clean, the kids are taken care of, I cook dinner, make sure everyone's needs are being met and still try to make time for myself (by make time for myself I mean take a shower, go to bed at 10 p.m. and rush through the occasional blog post). I have been on a bit of an emotional roller coaster. I hope it's just hormones and not true postpartum depression but I have been having random crying spells and moments of sheer anxiety. It comes and goes each day at different times and there doesn't seem to be a trigger for it. I'm not having any thoughts of self harm or anything so I am not terribly concerned but it isn't fun when it happens.

Overall I think things are going well, despite all the negative things I just went on about.

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