30 June 2019

First Week

Vanessa, my sweet girl,

It felt like it took so long to finally have you in my tummy and now that you're here in my arms it doesn't feel like such a big wait. You make my heart so full of happiness, just like your sister does. I don't even mind the middle of the night wake up calls from you because I am happy to see your sweet face when I open my eyes. You seem to be patient, content, curios and alert. You do not like sponge baths or diaper changes most of the time. You're strong and ahead of yourself when you try (and succeed) to roll over onto your side. I love being your mom so much and nurturing and caring for you and keeping you safe. I know we're all still adjusting and figuring this out and we have learning left to do but I am glad we're doing it together! So glad you're mine. -Love, Mommy

Wow, my little baby is a week old! Life has been pretty good. A lil' rough at times but even when it's rough it's not so bad. Straight from the hospital we went to Matt's moms house, who lives two blocks from us. It was amazing  having an extra set of hands for the girls, help with laundry, cooking, cleaning, and the much larger space for all of us to be comfortable. Last night was our first night back at our house and while it's good to be back it is quite cramped but we'll make it work.

Vanessa is doing great! She had a doctor check up the day after we left the hospital since we left the day after she was born. They like to be extra vigilant to make sure babies aren't losing too much weight and such. She was down about 4 ounces and measure 21.5" long. She has a check up tomorrow and they want her to be back to her birth weight at the 2 week check up. I don't know how fast babies gain ounces back but my expectation is she will meet that goal and then some soon. She's eating every hour to three hours and usually about two ounces at a time, though I think we will increase the volume soon. Her digestive system seems to be getting more regulated and she isn't pooping every five minutes like she was the first couple of days. Seriously we would change her diaper, then as soon as a new one was on she would poop again, then in the midst of changing that one she would poop. She sleeps for good chunks of time during the day but at night I am lucky if she goes 3 solid hours. I think that has only happened about twice. She will also stay awake for several hours at a time during the day, just looking around and chillin'.

Maybe it's just the endorphins and excitement of a new baby, but I am feeling pretty great myself. Emotionally I have been on cloud nine most the time. I have had a few crying spells of just being overwhelmed by happiness, fear and utter awe of my new life. Anxiety still makes it's appearance and I am so scared of something happening to Vanessa. She's so fragile and precious. Physically I am definitely healing. My back, hips and pelvis are very achy sometimes and it makes standing up or walking around a bit challenging. The soreness from my stitches/wounds significantly improved on day four and is almost non existent now. I have to be careful not to put too much pressure down when sitting/standing.

Matt and Natalie are doing well too. Natalie is such a good big sister. She really looks out for the baby and dotes on her. One day there was a blanket lying next to Vanessa while she was sleeping on the bed next to me and Natalie came in the room, saw it and was concerned and told me babies can't have blankets next to them when they sleep. (I told her before the baby was born how the crib has to be empty when she is sleeping/alone.) This morning Natalie said, "Will the T.V. hurt the baby's ears?" asking to watch T.V. while I held her sister. I thought that was so sweet. The other day she was holding V and doing "little piggies" with her. She made me laugh so hard by saying, "this little piggie went to the market, this little piggie stayed home, this little piggie had beef jerkey..." I thought it was so cute and did not correct her telling her it's roast beef. She is such a funny girl. Yesterday we saw some free things a neighbor was giving away and she said, "It looks like there's a sweet lemonade maker." I asked what she meant by sweet, wondering if she was using slang. She replied, "Cause lemonade is sweet and like sick." I cannot believe how she is talking like a pre-teen already. I know tomorrow will be a struggle because I am sending her to camp and for some reason she hates going. I ask in depth why and all I get is a, "it's boring". I think there is some social anxiety that comes into play and she is nervous at how busy it is and all the kids running around screaming and the counselors yelling directions and feeling a bit lost but she doesn't admit that. Matt and I have done a really good job making sure her little sister doesn't overshadow her and giving her lots of attention. We play games with her all day and on Friday we had a family outing to the mall and to Matt's office to pick up his paycheck, just the three of us.

Tonight we had our first family of four outing. We went to Home Depot and out to dinner. Vanessa just slept the whole time, then woke up as soon as I finished my meal for a diaper change and bottle. It worked out perfectly.

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