Park Friends

The neighborhood I live in is full of couples with babies. You can't look out your window without seeing someone pushing a stroller, that's how many young children there are. A lot of the couples seem to be in their mid thirties or older and are very career oriented.

There's a great park right around the corner from me and though it's mostly desolate now because it's winter, it's jam packed in the spring/summer and on nice days. I talk about it in my blog posts all the time, because that's pretty much Natalie and I's second home.

Before Natalie was even old enough to play there, I observed how intimidating it seemed to be there with all the other moms and nannies.

Most the moms are at the least somewhat put together, more so than me on any given day. They are all tall and thin and wear sunglasses and don't have clothes with holes in them on. I wear raggedy workout clothes that I almost never end up exercising in, no make up, my hair in a sloppy bun and I'm still 20 lbs heavier than I was pre-pregnancy.

I overhear conversations they have with each other about how they want to teach their children a second language and a lot of the kids there already do speak another language. I think that's really awesome, but it makes me feel like I have to do the same thing.

Everyone appears to always be there with a friend or a group of friends and I don't know a single soul aside from my baby. Occasionally someone will give me a smile and say hello but that's usually the extent of my interaction with other adults.

 Don't get me wrong, I like talking to other people when there's a connection, but if there is even an attempt on someone else's behalf to talk to me it usually goes nowhere. I've gone through the same old skit time and time again that I just stopped trying to care. I usually get one worded replies like this: "Awww, how old is your little one!? Answer: "X amount of months." Silence.

Maybe that's my fault. Maybe I am supposed to be more engaging and interesting.

I have had a handful of moms who were nice and chatted me up and I loved it. It made me want to hug them on the spot and invite them over for a glass of wine.  I've never seen any of them again though.

The only people who are always friendly and talkative are the rare, random grandparents. They are the nicest people. They ask a bunch of questions about your kid and just chat you up. They tell you how great it is being a grandparent, where they're from, how long they're visiting for and are just overall so sweet.

Maybe I should be the one to take the initiative and be that way with other moms but they just don't seem approachable.

You can vibe out who is down to earth and who is just stuck up. Sometimes I feel like I'm in high school again. Maybe I'm being completely insecure but I truly feel like when I walk away from an area with a group of moms they start talking about me.

Like today, a woman out of the blue asked if Natalie was mine, to which I obviously said yes, with a smile on my face. She just stared into my eyes for a few seconds, like she was judging the depths of my soul and then looked away. It was so uncomfortable.

I know you're probably thinking I'm over analyzing things and that the park is for children and all about them, to which I completely agree. For now I'm alright with focusing on entertaining my kid. I do love playing with her exploring new things together.

The older a kid gets though the more independent they become and eventually Natalie will do her own socializing and playing with other children. I'd like to have some park friends myself while she does. I don't like feeling left out.

This is one of the dumbest non-issue issues I've ever faced but I wanted to put it out there anyway.

What do you think about making friends with other parents/moms? Is is something that comes easy, or do you find it as impossible as I do?