Marriage and Mistresses

Everyone knows a cheating spouse is wrong for straying outside their relationship, but what about the other lover?It takes two people to have an affair.

Without displacing blame from the cheater, I feel that someone who knowingly engages in sex/a relationship with someone who's married is almost as guilty as the one cheating.

Women obviously aren't the only one's who hook up with someone whose tied the knot, but I recently learned about someone I know who's on the verge of becoming a mistress and that has bothered me since I found out. I'm not close to this person, nor do I care what she does in the bedroom, it just bothers me to think of the damage it will cause someone else (the wife), who is probably completely oblivious to how her world may come crashing down before her eyes.

I'll never understand the mindset of "the other woman," the mistress. Maybe I'm wrong and it's merely physical  attraction that drives someone to sleep with a married man, but just like in the case of most cheaters I feel there is an emotional reason behind it.

You've first off got to be really insecure, perhaps about your appearance, perhaps about your character, or most likely both.

There's some sense of superiority I think a woman feels knowing she could make a man forget about his wife. It's like she's winning a sick game in her head, because he chose her over the woman he vowed to be with and faithful to forever.

Or maybe she just likes the rush of sneaking around, of "forbidden love".

Maybe she's jaded and bitter from past relationships and feels a married man is perfect because he's already "committed" to someone else.

Maybe she just needs male attention at any cost.

There are a number of psychological factors that could be considered. Any way you look at it, it's twisted, insane and means absolutely nothing other than she did a good job finding a scum bag to use her.

 I know from countless stories how affairs ruin lives. I don't know what it feels like to be cheated on but I feel if I were in a situation where my husband was being less than honest, I would want someone to come forth and tell me.

I don't know the wife in this case personally, but with computers and technology I wouldn't exactly be going out of my way to contact her. As much as I want to, there are a few reasons I won't.

For one, I don't know if the husband has actually cheated. Despite his completely inappropriate conversations, he hasn't gotten physical with the girl I know. If there's an interest in one woman then there's probably an interest in a lot more, or at least will be very soon. Eventually something will turn physical.

Also, it's not my place to tell her. For all I know the couple could be very unhappy (as the husband claims he is) and she could be cheating on him too. Doesn't make it right, but their marriage is kinda screwed anyway if so. I can only hope her husband's true colors come out sooner or later (I'm sure they will) and they work it out however they see fit.

What would you do? Would you tell a stranger she should re-evaluate her marriage or just let it go? What about if it were you on the other side of things, would you want someone to tell you your spouse might be having an affair?