Unpredictable

For the first time in quite some time Natalie and I rode the public bus today to head up to a little shopping center near my house.

We went to Target and then had some time to kill before the bus back home arrived so I took her to the Petsmart next door to look at some animals.

She wasn't too interested in anything, which is surprising because there were a ton of dogs in a day "camp" that were behind a glass pen and were playing with each other. After looking at the even less amusing fish, birds and guinea pigs I decided to just take her outside to wait since the weather was nice again.

Outside of the pet store there was a sign that had a picture of a dog on one side, and a picture of a cat on the other.

This, this was fascinating to her. She was talking to it, cooing and running around it. She would point at the animals and even tried climbing on the sign. She loved it and it entertained her until the bus came.

That experience reminded me of how one Christmas my nephew opened a present my sister thought he would get really excited about and he just wanted to play with the box instead.

We got on the bus and a few minutes into the ride I noticed her interacting with a woman across from us. She never gives strangers the time of day, no matter how much they smile at her or try to make her laugh. It's always just a blank stare and sometimes she even cries.

So I was stunned when I watched Natalie's face and she was doing this squinty eyed thing she does  from time to time and smiling at this strange woman. That is literally the first time that I've ever seen her smile at a stranger, ever. I hope this continues, because I'm tired of people thinking my baby is an asshole.

Natalie is always so full of little surprises  I think she'll love something and she couldn't care less about it. I think she'll be indifferent to something and she loves it. Always keeping Mama on her toes.


Here's her doing her little squinty eyes. (You may want to lower the volume on your speakers, my laugh sounds painfully obnoxious in this.)
 

Spring Tease

It's crazy how one week it can be freezing cold and snowing and then just five days later I get the beautiful warm weather I was hoping for.  

Today's temperature was in the mid to upper 60's and it was gorgeous. 

We soaked up the sunshine and Natalie had a great time playing at the park with my niece. 

It's a bit of a tease to get such nice weather in January but I definitely can't complain. It just really makes me look forward to the start of spring and not having to wear jackets. 

Just laying on the ground hugging each other. 

In Laws

Like most new girlfriends I was ridiculously nervous to meet my husbands parents when we first started seeing each other.

I think it took us a couple of years of dating before I actually did, and the initial meeting was brief and informal. It was more like me waving to Matt's mom from the car while she stood on the porch after he stopped by to borrow something from their house. I don't even remember the first time I met his dad.

When you marry someone, no matter how crazy or screwed up their family is, you're stuck with them for the rest of your life (or at least as long as you're married to that person for). It's pretty much a gamble, a crap shoot, with what you're going to get as far as in laws go.

I mean, you assume since your spouse is so awesome and accepting that the people who raised them have got to be equally as cool but that definitely isn't always the case.

I can say without any ass kissing or sugar coating that my in laws are incredible people and I love them very much.

It took some time to get comfortable around them, sure. Once I realized they weren't judging me on my occupation, or cooking skills, or background, or education I loosened up. I realized quickly that they accepted me the way I was, flaws and all, just for making their son happy.

We all grew closer and closer from life events: Matt needing major surgery from a collapsed lung, us getting engaged, me getting pregnant and then finally the birth of their first grandchild.

It might seem strange or awkward to some people, but Matt and I live two blocks away from his parents. That's just the way it worked out when he bought the house we lived in before him and I ever met and I think it's absolutely perfect.

Since Matt's mom works from home, and his dad is a landlord who pretty much makes his own schedule  I often walk down to their house in the middle of the day, just to say hi and spend some time over there. Natalie loves them so much and their house is a big playground to her. She gets spoiled with affection and sweets too, of course.

They are such good grandparents. So loving, so attentive, so patient, so kind. I couldn't have asked for a better family for her or myself.

They help Matt and I out when we need it most too. Financially they have more than chipped in for expenses like our wedding and home projects, but more importantly they have been an emotional  backbone for us.

My mother in law has hugged me through tears, reassured me when I felt like a shitty mother. She's come over to my house when Natalie was sick because I had no clue what to do. She made my veil for our wedding, the bedding for the nursery. She is always there when I need advice and I feel like I can talk to her about anything.

My father in law, he adores Natalie more than I ever imagined possible and she has him wrapped around her tiny little finger. In the summer time, almost every single day he would call me and say, "What's Natalie doing?" meaning, is Natalie free to go on a bike ride? He would strap her to his chest in a baby carrier and take her around the neighborhood on his bicycle.

He's who Matt and I come to when we need something like a leaky pipe or car part fixed. He built our back deck, helped baby proof the house by bolting large furniture to the ground. He's the kind of guy who'll slip me a $20 dollar bill when I ask him if he'll babysit while I go get my hair cut, and then smile and say, "Have lunch on me!"

I can't say enough nice things about my in laws. Everything I mentioned in here is just the tip of the iceberg, you have no idea what a tremendous help they have been in our lives. Of course I would love them all the same without all the help. They truly are such kind people and I am so glad Natalie has them as grandparents. I am so glad I have them as in laws and Matt is so thankful to have them as parents.

We are beyond blessed.

Natalie's first Christmas, three weeks old. 

About two months old. We couldn't find scratch mittens so we used Redskins socks instead. 

Bike ride, at six months. 

Getting tickled, at ten months. 

Second Christmas, at twelve months. 

Old School Survey

 I'm bringing it back the the Myspace days and posting a stupid random questions survey, just because I'm that bored at work. Feel free to snag these and post them on your blog if you're as much of a loser as I am.

 Did you ever see a booger on someone's face and specifically choose not to tell them?
Not that I can think of. I try to tell people when they have food in their teeth or boogers on their face. Unless it's a stranger, then that's just weird.

Do you know you have mold growing in the refrigerator and do nothing about it?
Does it make me absolutely disgusting if I do? Cause I would never let old food sit in there changing colors, rotting and growing things because I'm too lazy to throw it out. Never.

 Have you ever been attracted to someone very unattractive?
Not everyone will find the same people attractive, so by certain standards, yes. I've also looked back on past "crushes" and wondered, "What the hell was I thinking?" Crazy how much our tastes can change.

Would you prefer to sleep with your dog than anyone else?
I don't have a dog, and I'm pretty sure bestiality is a crime.

Would you eat a cow eye for a price?
I suppose. I doubt anyone is interested in paying me to do that though, so it's not really important the amount. 

If the walls could talk, what would they say about you?
 That I'm a freak who would eat a cow eye for money.

 Do you secretly pick your scabs?
Yeah. Not a secret anymore.

What would your best friend be surprised to know about you?
I have a best friend?

 Do you think male and females can be friends?
 Sure.

What technological device could you not live without?
 Computer/Internet.

If you could have been born in any year, what year would it have been?
I'm okay with the year I was born in. 

Would you like to be famous?
 No. It has it's perks but more downfalls than anything I think. I don't get why everyone is so obsessed with it today.

Have you ever drank pickle juice straight from the jar?
Gross (says the girl who picks her scabs). No. 

Do you lie about your weight?
No one really asks me that question but yes, I do. 

Ever thrown up in public?
 Not proud of it but yes.

Passed out because of alcohol?
 See above

What kind of home would you like?
I like the home I live in now. It's tiny as shit but there are so many good memories that were made there.

Where do you see yourself in 5 years?
This question kinda  freaks me out, one: because I have no idea where I see myself and two: because I'll have a SIX year old daughter by then. 5 years really isn't far off at all.

Do you like candy necklaces?
The one's that taste like chalk?

Yeah, those are delicious.

What was the last thing you ate?
An apple.

Alright, fine, it was more like a brownie.

Have you ever won an award?
Do Blogger awards count?

Stupid question, of course they count. Those things are legit!

How long ’till your birthday?
About five months.

What time is it?
6:52 pm 

Do you use ebay to buy or sell?
Neither. 

Who makes you mad?
A lot of people.

Have you ever heard a song written about you?
Uh, no.

Do you swear when you’re mad?
I swear when I'm mad, when I'm happy, when I'm sad. I swear when I'm indifferent, I swear all the fucking time. 

When was the last time you actually cried?
A couple nights ago, just because.

 Are you usually a happy person?
Yeah, what's not to be happy about?

What makes you the happiest?
Natalie, of course.

Finally

After weeks of reading all about other bloggers first snow days, we finally got our first snow here in Northern Va. Seriously, it seems like every single state/city around the country has seen snow this winter except in my area.

We woke up this morning to a light sheet of snow covering most of the ground. I didn't care how small the amount, this was Natalie's first time (even since she's been born, I'm pretty sure) that it's snowed where we live!

I bundled her up, grabbed the camera and took her outside.

 I guess there's not a whole lot that a 13 month old can do in the snow, but this girl was completely unfazed by it. I expected her to want to touch it, or eat it, or something! She could not have cared less.  She barely seemed to notice it, like, "Oh, snow? Yeah, not fascinated by natures beauty whatsoever."

Now that we had our first snow day I am ready for 60 degree weather and sunshine! Who's with me?

She doesn't have snow boots so cowgirl boots kept her feet dry. 

"Really, is this supposed to impress me, Ma?!"

Is it okay if she creeps me out a little in this picture, with her freaky eyes, porcelain skin and death stare?  

All the Small Things

I decided after Natalie turned one year I would stop doing monthly updates, but there have been so many little things she's done since that I thought I would share them.

-She can feed herself pretty well with a spoon now! She almost refuses to let us feed her anything, she thinks she's big stuff. It's a helluva lot messier letting her go at it alone but it's the only way she'll eat and it's also really cute seeing her be so independent.

-She hates sitting in her highchair so yesterday I upgraded her into a little booster seat (it has a security belt and straps onto the the chair) so she can sit at the table and eat. Again, she looks so cute sitting like a big girl at the table so independently.

-The cutest thing she does is give kisses and makes a "mmm-mwah" noise.

-She isn't much of a talker (probably because she just points at something and squeaks and we jump up and get it for her) but she does communicate very well. She seems to really understand what we say and will nod yes and no to things. Anytime she wants something, anything, she will sign "more" for it. I.E. if she wants to go upstairs, she'll point up the stairs and ask for more. One day she found a picture of Matt and starting crying, pointed at him and asked for more. It was so sweet and funny.

-She does try to say a few words, including but not limited to: owl, star, heart, apple (she says that one pretty clear), and Da-da.

-She makes up little games, like taking an object, putting it behind her back and then shrugging and looking at us like, "Where did it go?"  then she'll pull it out and giggle and do it all again.

That's pretty much all I can think of. (I know you were just dying to read more about the little things someone else's baby does.)

I always thought I would be sad as she got older and older, but it just keeps getting better and more fun everyday!

 I slicked her hair back after a bath. She doesn't even look like the same baby! 

She always hesitates to do it but she really loves going down this slide at the park. 

Marriage and Mistresses

Everyone knows a cheating spouse is wrong for straying outside their relationship, but what about the other lover?It takes two people to have an affair.

Without displacing blame from the cheater, I feel that someone who knowingly engages in sex/a relationship with someone who's married is almost as guilty as the one cheating.

Women obviously aren't the only one's who hook up with someone whose tied the knot, but I recently learned about someone I know who's on the verge of becoming a mistress and that has bothered me since I found out. I'm not close to this person, nor do I care what she does in the bedroom, it just bothers me to think of the damage it will cause someone else (the wife), who is probably completely oblivious to how her world may come crashing down before her eyes.

I'll never understand the mindset of "the other woman," the mistress. Maybe I'm wrong and it's merely physical  attraction that drives someone to sleep with a married man, but just like in the case of most cheaters I feel there is an emotional reason behind it.

You've first off got to be really insecure, perhaps about your appearance, perhaps about your character, or most likely both.

There's some sense of superiority I think a woman feels knowing she could make a man forget about his wife. It's like she's winning a sick game in her head, because he chose her over the woman he vowed to be with and faithful to forever.

Or maybe she just likes the rush of sneaking around, of "forbidden love".

Maybe she's jaded and bitter from past relationships and feels a married man is perfect because he's already "committed" to someone else.

Maybe she just needs male attention at any cost.

There are a number of psychological factors that could be considered. Any way you look at it, it's twisted, insane and means absolutely nothing other than she did a good job finding a scum bag to use her.

 I know from countless stories how affairs ruin lives. I don't know what it feels like to be cheated on but I feel if I were in a situation where my husband was being less than honest, I would want someone to come forth and tell me.

I don't know the wife in this case personally, but with computers and technology I wouldn't exactly be going out of my way to contact her. As much as I want to, there are a few reasons I won't.

For one, I don't know if the husband has actually cheated. Despite his completely inappropriate conversations, he hasn't gotten physical with the girl I know. If there's an interest in one woman then there's probably an interest in a lot more, or at least will be very soon. Eventually something will turn physical.

Also, it's not my place to tell her. For all I know the couple could be very unhappy (as the husband claims he is) and she could be cheating on him too. Doesn't make it right, but their marriage is kinda screwed anyway if so. I can only hope her husband's true colors come out sooner or later (I'm sure they will) and they work it out however they see fit.

What would you do? Would you tell a stranger she should re-evaluate her marriage or just let it go? What about if it were you on the other side of things, would you want someone to tell you your spouse might be having an affair?

National Harbor Children's Museum

Some of the best kind of days are one's with impromptu plans and last minute decisions to visit somewhere.

A friend called me out of the blue today and asked if I wanted to venture out to a new children's museum that opened up  across the bridge from us in Maryland. I of course was up for it and excited about getting out of the house.

I honestly had no idea what to expect from a children's museum, I just figured there'd be exhibits and shit to look at.

It was actually a lot of fun (not that looking at ancient artifacts I know nothing about isn't fun) and not what I expected at all. Everything was hands on and there were so many different stations with different activities.

The museum definitely is for older kids (4 and up) but there was a section for younger children/infants that Natalie and I enjoyed very much. There were chalk boards and baby dolls and puzzles and crafts and so much more. Of all the things to do Natalie really liked carrying around a doll and tossing a plastic tomato around like a ball.

For the older kids there were stations that were educational but really entertaining. They focused a lot on different cultures and other parts of the world, which is really important for kids to learn about.

I didn't take a lot of pictures and most of them turned out blurry but here are a few decent ones.

Completely unrelated, but look at those natural curls!

Mojo

(This is a post about my sex life, so if we're going to be making eye contact with each other in the next few days you may want to skip it to avoid an uncomfortable situation.)

  Like with so many new relationships, when my husband and I first started seeing each other we were consumed with physical and sexual attraction for one another. If I'm going to be completely honest, our connection was based a lot on sex.

Obviously things progressed and we fell in love, moved in together, got engaged, I got pregnant and we married.

Before I gave birth, the thought of having to wait six weeks postpartum to have sex seemed like forever. 

 When you're trying to make a baby you have sex every chance you get. So much so that it can stop being fun and seem more like a chore. Still, it was something that happened frequently and I didn't think it would be possible to abstain for so long even with the stress we would face as new parents.

 Once expecting, I read all about how my pregnant hormones would rage and the desire to make love would go through the roof. I had also heard of men who are really attracted to and who lust over pregnant women in a creepy fetish way, so I figured Matt and I would want to do it as much as possible before the baby was born.

This wasn't the case for either of us. I wasn’t a glowing sex goddess like I envisioned but for a while our sex life continued without much hindrance, other than my lack of energy and occasional constipation getting in the way.

Once I got further and further along in my pregnancy though not only did my sex drive decrease but Matt's did too. I remember going to my doctor's for a routine prenatal checkup, maybe around 30 weeks, and as I was being checked out the midwife said she could feel the baby's head down there. I was a little bit freaked out. I told Matt all about my doctor's visit and he questioned how safe it was for us to be intimate. I assured him it was completely okay, but I felt weird about it too.

The only thing I could think of was how nonsexual sex felt while carrying a child inside me and being so close to delivery. Things in the bedroom slowed way down because it just felt wrong and awkward to both of us and I'm sure to the baby too.

After Natalie was born I was pleasantly surprised at how quickly my libido returned. Once it was time for my post baby checkup my doctor gave me the green light I was ready to resume a sex life. We definitely made up for the time in between. Maybe it was the long break, or maybe it was the new bond and closeness that Matt and I now shared due to becoming parents together, but things were amazing. Natalie slept a lot when she was a newborn and this gave us plenty of opportunities to have some "alone" time multiple times a day/night.

I don't remember what age it was, but she got older and slept less and less. She needed more stimulation and attention, which we gladly gave to her. We were still having sex multiple times a week but the flame was starting to dwindle as parenthood took its toll on us. Longer and longer periods of time would pass without sex. A week, two weeks, three weeks and so on.

And then here we are today.

The older she gets, the harder it is for us to do the deed. I'm not going to get into the different stages we've gone through in order to get her to sleep (i.e. rocking her in her car seat, going on an hour long drive every night...) but know that it is exhausting. By the time she is asleep neither of us are in the mood. We get lazy and just want to veg out and enjoy personal free time to ourselves. Plus dealing with a cranky baby minutes before isn't exactly an aphrodisiac.

I guess I'm writing this to see if anyone else has had a similar experience and if you have any suggestions on how to boost the desire to get down? I know the Internet is full of advice but I want to know what works (or doesn't work) for real couples.

Anonymous comments are allowed for this post, so feel free to shamelessly dish it out if you're not comfortable using your real name.

Mightee Kids

I recently learned of and have had the pleasure of doing a review for an amazing charity named Mightee Kids. They’re a brand new organization, changing the lives of others, one t-shirt at a time.

 Not only do they donate $5 dollars from every shirt purchased to a different charity each month, but their goal is to teach kids about helping others in need as well.

The way it works is simple:

Become a member here

Receive a children’s t-shirt in size of your choice, along with a brochure about that month’s charity

Read the information to your child and teach them about the cause and how they helped someone less fortunate by donating

Simple, yet I believe it will have a profound impact on your child.

I absolutely love this charity because it isn’t solely about giving money but about building altruism, love and compassion for future generations.

The charity and cause for the month of January is Smile Train, a medical service charity dedicated to providing free corrective surgery to children with cleft lip and cleft palate in developing countries.

About 1 in every 700 children born have cleft lip and/or a cleft palate, a birth defect that affects the upper lip and roof of the mouth, and can also affect other parts of the face, such as the nose and eyes.

Besides interfering with eating, speaking and even breathing, children with cleft lip/cleft palate are ridiculed and ostracized, some are not allowed to attend school or have jobs in certain countries.

It breaks my heart to think of the hardships those innocent kids go through, all because of the way they look.

A simple, 45 minutes surgery that costs around $250 dollars can change that child's life forever though. Smile Train and Mightee Kids are helping to better the lives of the disadvantaged and you and your child can too.

Your child will spread awareness and feel good about themselves every time they wear a Mightee Kids shirt!

Natalie is obviously too young to understand any of this right now, but I hope to teach her about it when she's older and to inspire her to give to and care for others for a lifetime.

Showing off her smile in her Mightee Kids t-shirt