09 June 2012

Body Blues

From the moment I found out I was pregnant I knew my body would forever change.

No one ever told me just how soul crushing the results of my post baby body would be. I won't describe the horror in great detail, but to give you an idea my stomach looks like it was mauled by a tiger and my tits can be compared to pancakes. Not to mention the extra weight I'm lugging around.

Call me shallow for not treasuring how the miracle of birth has changed my outer appearance, and self-centered for not just enjoying my little one, but I'm sick of the way I look.

I'm sick of seeing pictures of celebrities six weeks after having a baby and prancing around in a bikini. I know those expectations aren’t realistic. I know average women don't look like that. I know these women have chefs and nutritionist and trainers and nannies to help them. I know it takes time and effort to get back into shape. I cannot help but compare myself to moms I encounter everyday though. And it seems almost every mom is doing better than me with their physical appearance. I feel like the excuse of just having had a baby is rapidly diminishing as she is now six months old.

I might be being a bit hard on myself but there are moms out there with multiple kids who have abs of steel. That isn't my personal goal but I'd like to do better. I felt amazing when I was pregnant. Everyone told me how great I looked. I loved that my ginat belly made everything else on me look a lot smaller. I didn't think I had gained that much weight either. I kinda assumed I would lose most of it when I gave birth. Boy was I wrong.

I have a lot of weight I need to lose. At least 20 lbs before I'm at my pre-pregnancy weight and 30 lbs before I'm at my goal weight. Why go back to before I had a baby? Why not do better? I feel like I can. I just need to keep on the right track and stay motivated. That's a lot easier said than done. I have been eating better and excising. It's encouraging when I start to see results, no matter how small the change is. I can't do anything about the stretch marks or sagginess but I'll change what I can.

I have no excuse not to be getting back into shape. Sure, I get tired and busy. Mostly I'm just lazy and don't really care what other people think. I want to do this for me though. To feel better about myself. I know that looks are not the most important thing in life. I am comfortable with who I am. I'd like to be more comfortable and more confident and this is what I must do to achieve that.

I just want to end this post by saying that in no way am I fishing for compliments by openly discussing my insecurities. I just want to hear from moms (or anyone) who can relate and maybe offer a few tips on fitness or nutrition.

19 Thoughts :

Giggle Business June 9, 2012 at 12:20 PM  

Reading this i can relate on everything! my son is nearly 2 and I'm just as lazy. I've convinced myself not to do anything till I've had a second baby (as i only want 2) However that now maybe out the window as the hubby doesnt one (i think its just for the moment though.) I reckon it would be a good idea to get a group of women like us and do a link up to lose weight that way we can all support each other as that is my main problem. I know exactually how you feel and this post is very inspiring

Anonymous June 9, 2012 at 12:39 PM  

Took me almost 9 months with my first to lose the weight but a lot less with the second. I'll still never wear a bikini again though. It's hard at the beach and pools seeing other women you'd never know had a baby but they have multiples...

I guess I don't have advice but I can relate with you

Kylie June 9, 2012 at 12:48 PM  

I know how you feel. It took me a while to get my old body back, but I am also pretty lazy when it comes to fitness and dieting.

I started the 30 Day Shred DVD... I like it a lot. It's something you can do at home during nap time or something. It didn't cut into my schedule, which I liked. I could feel a difference within days.

Also, have you tried using myfitnesspal.com? You can keep track of your exercise and food, and there are lots of forums for support. Check it out if you haven't!

Jazz June 9, 2012 at 1:29 PM  

(I know I can't really relate to this post because I am babyless and thankfully at the age of 17 I have not been through pregnancy, but to hell with that, I am commenting anyway).
I personally think you look great! But I'll try and throw some tips at you that may or may not come in handy.
First of all, try not to snack. I have lost 12lbs over the last two months by cutting back on snacking. That actually sounds unbelievable, but I've not really done anything else for me to lose weight. So snacking must be a serious weight-gainer.
If you have a Wii, buy Zumba 2! It is amazing. If you love to sweat like a pig and collapse on the floor after just one dance (I doubt this, but this is the reality of it), then buy this game, it's great, if a little too tiring...
Hula-hooping is pretty good.
As is running up and down the stairs for like half an hour (warning this is torture).
Ermmm I don't think I did anything else when I was trying to lose weight. Hmmm, I'll have to let you know if I think of anything else.
OOH if you have an Android phone, or actually maybe you can get it on the internet, there's this thing called My Fitness Pal, and it will actually become your best friend. You fill in what you've eaten in the day, how much exercise you've done etc etc, and it will say if you're eating too much, the right amount, not enough. It sounds really stupid but it does help, because you can see that actually, yes, that one biscuit (cookie to you?) does make a difference unfortunately.
Anyway I will let you know if I remember anything else I did. And if it makes you feel any better, my lack of boobs have always been pancakes, I have always had a saggy arse, and I have stretch marks before I've even had a kid! Honestly it looks like my cat has been scratching at my thighs (not sure why she would do that, but it looks that way). I always kind of only wanted a kid because I thought that your boobs get ginormous when you're pregnant, which sounds amazing to me.
Oh and very random, but I admire Hilary Duff because she doesn't seem like she's in any hurry to lose her baby weight! She must be the only Disney star who stayed sane...
Good luck with the weight loss!

MomEO June 9, 2012 at 1:41 PM  

I've had six kids, but I usually bounced back fairly well with good eating habits, regular exercise, and good genes (probably the most important). Then, I came down with a chronic illness that doesn't allow me to exercise very much any more, and boy is it a difference. I want to get in better shape in spite of my limitations, so I'm working on clean eating (nothing with preservatives, white flour, or white sugar), a little bit of yoga, and gentle swimming (gotta love the summer!).

From my experience, I know you can get back into shape, but also I know that years from now you will look back at this self and think, dang, I looked pretty good. I wish I looked that good again. Try to stop beating yourself up so much and enjoy it while you can.

Giggle Business June 9, 2012 at 2:22 PM  

yea they were they are actually trampolines in the ground. yea def will do that sounds like a great idea

brit June 9, 2012 at 4:27 PM  

I'm right there with ya girl! I am in no way happy with my post baby body. =( Oh well, it is what it is... I'll get it off eventually.

Emilie June 9, 2012 at 5:11 PM  

I can relate so much! My baby boy is 4 months old and I still have weight to lose and abs to tone! Everybody kept telling me during my pregnancy that I would lose my baby weight so easily by doing nothing, well, turns out they were wrong! I just bought an elliptical, I'll try to get back in shape from home (no time for the gym!).
It's good to know that I'm not alone in this situation! It's always a pleasure to read you!

Melanie June 9, 2012 at 10:34 PM  

OH GIRL. HOW I CAN SOOOOO FREAKN FRACKN RELATE. HAHAa... the only diff is Uhmmmm... hello Jax is 3 1/2... & Natalie is ONLY 6 months! UGG. I have lost a little of my weight. BUT only a little, around 25lbs. I would LOVE to loose another 30... but would be over the moon w/ 15. ANYwhoo gettn off track, question... Where the hell are you planning on taking 30 pounds from your cute lil self? Seriously you look damn GREAT. I really thinks it's kinda annoying! I just want you to know how beautiful you are, but I totally hear ya on wanting to be healthier & in better shape. Lord knows I could tighten my bootie up, A LOT! I need to just get my bum in gear! DANG it, you would be the best work out buddy! I'm planning on starting jogging (aka more like power mall old lady walking) on Monday. Every morning w/ Jax. I'm sure once we start, we love it... right?! Lol) xo

Erika June 9, 2012 at 11:10 PM  

It's tough to hate your body - or to feel like it could be a lot better. I was really lucky to lose the baby weight quickly, without doing much more than breast-feeding. However, it's been almost a year and I'm still not totally happy with my body. While the weight is gone, I feel my stomach is 'gross' and my boobs are weird looking. Sigh. I think we all have issues.

I've always gone to the gym, but never really loved it. In the last couple months I have actually started to crave exercise. I feel better when I go, and I feel like I have more energy to devote to eating well, cooking better meals, and playing with my son. It's a total cycle - which for me can go both ways. If I stop exercising I often eat worse, and then I feel worse about my self, eat even worse, and gain weight. Somehow I have to throw myself back into eating well and exercising, and then I get on to the positive cycle again.

One thing that REALLY helped with the baby weight loss was walking. I probably averaged an hour and a half every day, for the first 10 months of my sons life. I'm back to work now, and really miss the walking we used to do during the day. Walking is easy (at least for me) and it was a great activity for my son. Rain, sun, snow or sleet - we headed out for at least a little walk.

Good luck! Keep us updated if you find anything that works well for you:)

Megan June 10, 2012 at 8:51 AM  

I can really relate. Before I had my first daughter I was 110 pounds. People tell me I was too small back then, after her I was 125. I thought I was HUGE but now? I'd do anything to be at that weight again. And now three kids later? Well, I'd like to lose 20 pounds too. I went to the doctor because I hadn't lost ANY weight since Kinsley was 6 weeks only to find that I have hypothyroidism. WONDERFUL. Because that makes it extremely hard to lose weight, just what I need!

I always compare myself to other moms too, there are always some smaller, and always some bigger. (Although that doesn't make me feel any better.)

Ali June 11, 2012 at 12:05 AM  

GIRL, you are speaking my language. I've got 13 to lose til pre-pregnancy and it'd be nice to lose another 5-10 on top of that. Breastfeeding really helped melt off the 46 other lbs. I gained (which is nothing short of a MIRACLE). What's sad is I've weighed more than what I weigh right now just by being happy in my relationship before I was even pregnant! But whats REALLY sad is how different this same weight looks on me post-baby! Holy shit. Everything is all loppy and nasty. :(
ugh. So, here's to doing it the hard way but you know what? It'll be worth it in the end! I am on myfitnesspal every so often - but I definitely feel better when I use it. You can use it on the computer or a smart phone/Ipad/whatever! So if you're on it, let me know!

Krista June 11, 2012 at 8:52 AM  

I DO hear you. I gained about 45-50 lbs with both of my pregnancies. Nursing certainly helped me shed most of it but it really came down to hard work and a supportive hubby who would watch the baby while I exercised. It's just something you have to make yourself do, finding a good source of motivation is key. I lost all of my baby weight but then got slack and put about 15 pounds back on. So here I am again trying to get it back off :( Sadly there's nothing to be done about the sagging short of surgery but I'm not going that route, just bought some good bras :) The stretch marks will fade and be flesh colored again.

I'm not sure I'm helping you much here, just know we all go through it and for me it's become an ongoing effort. Probably because I'm older now and my metabolism is slowing down UGH!

Melanie June 11, 2012 at 1:47 PM  

Thank you for writing this post (I am actually crafting a post similar to this, which you can read in the coming weeks when I finally get around to finishing it haha).
I gained about 40ish pounds when I was preggo. I lost about half of it after coming home from the hospital. I was not seeing the weight melt away from breastfeeding like so many people said would happen. I was a collegiate athlete, so my body has always been strong and in shape, so the sight of myself in the mirror was just not cool. I have been really hard on myself about the way that I look, even though everyone around me is giving me so much support. It does get SUPER frustrating when you don't see results when working out. At about 11 weeks postpartum (after running since getting cleared by the doc around 6 weeks postpartum), I started the "Insanity" workout program. I had done "Insanity" workouts here and there last summer when I was training for a 1/2 marathon, but I really wanted to buckle-down and complete the program from start to finish. My son is now 17 weeks old and I have two weeks left in the program. I have lost a ton of inches and about 10ish pounds. I love running, so I'm excited to start running more after I finish "Insanity" on 6/24. I really recommend the program. You don't need anything but yourself and a dvd player. There are tons of really hard workouts and it feels so good when you finish one (plus, it is only 60ish days)! It fit my schedule well when I was on maternity leave, because I would do it while my son was napping. Now, I just get up early before work and do it.
PS - I know you weren't looking for compliments, but you really do look great.

Shannon June 11, 2012 at 4:27 PM  

Amen sister. I'm TWENTY pounds over what I weighed on my wedding day.

I was very lucky to not get any stretchmarks, but when your belly has more jiggle than Santa Claus', you can't really showcase that belly anyway!

Sigh....At least we have beautiful daughters, amiright?

marie June 12, 2012 at 6:04 PM  

I used a baby jogger with Emry almost every day. At first it was walking and then it was running, we both loved it. I would have to say nutrition is key. Lots of veggies and protein, little sugar, nothing new, but totally effective.

Can't help you on the deflated boob front, let me now ASAP if you find a cure (other than surgery!).

Life Happens June 14, 2012 at 2:44 PM  

Glad I'm not the only one feeling this way! I hate looking at myself in the mirror. And I know that I need to get my butt in gear and do something about it, but I find every excuse possible (my current excuse is trying to get the house ready to sale is so stressful!). It's my own fault and I own it. It's embarassing. Really embarrassing.

kyna... June 15, 2012 at 12:48 AM  

Good for you hon!!
♥ Kyna

Marjorie June 19, 2012 at 4:50 PM  

The Tupler Technique helped me greatly with my stomach and abs. I had no idea that crunches, pilates and sit ups were damaging to the core after a baby. It takes a lot of dedication, but the program worked and I wore a bikini on our vacation.

Chest wise I'm a mess. I got a push up bikini from target that worked wonders. Maybe when I'm done having kids and have some money, I may consider surgery.

Do everything you can as best as you can and you will get to a better place. Good luck Mama (and for the record I think you look pretty good now anyway).