Observations
Today was another unseasonably warm day and after I had my very eager father in law watch Natalie while I got my hair done, her and I took a little walk. She fell asleep as soon as I started walking so I figured my lazy ass would just sit on a bench in the park and creepily watch the kids there play for 45 minutes. As I was observing, I started thinking about how intimidating the playground actually is. It's just a melting pot of social awkwardness. All the women there are either foreign nannies or extremely judgmental looking white women wearing designer sunglasses and drinking Starbucks. It appears as though they have their little cliques where they probably stand around bragging about their kids achievements and try to outdo each other in every aspect of parenting. For all I know they could be really nice and I know I'm the one being judgmental here. It's just that they're a lot older than me (looking like I'm 12 years old doesn't help) and I'm worried once our kids do interact that they'll look down on me. Some older moms feel like younger moms should have waited to be more financially settled or "lived" a little more and therefore frown upon them. I know it seems a bit ridiculous to be so worried about things that haven't even happened and may not happen but I can't help it. Whatever. I know I made the right decisions in life. I know I'm just as responsible and fit to be a mother as them, despite my age. I don't feel like I'm missing out on a thing, except maybe a good friend with children to accompany me to the park and give dirty looks to snotty people.