Relationships: Ex's

How do you define knowing someone? Is it because you make small talk with them at work everyday, or let them vent to you when they’re in one of those moods, or know their favorite song is “Womanizer” because, shamefully, they are not embarrassed to belt it out in front of you? When do we lose sight of our friendships and start becoming different people? When we lose connection for six months? Have a baby? Get married? Go through hardships? When are we suppose to rekindle a lost relationship and try to make up for the time spent apart? When do we decide we care enough to try and get it back, instead of leaving it preserved as a memory in the past? What about past loves? Clearly there is a definite point when the intimacy deteriorates and things are “over.“ So why is it people feel the need to check up on their ex’s and drop in to say hello? To see where they are today? Because there is some feeling left? To see if (and secretly wish) you did, in fact, leave a giant void in their life that no one else has been able to fill? Is it REALLY because there is some deep connection that is worth a friendship? Do you have a point to prove that you're better off without them? Relationships are fragile. Ex's only make things awkward when someone in the relationship is willing to feed into whatever motives the evildoer is hiding. (Yes, ex's are "evildoers".) Still, there are so many questions that follow an ex's reappearance and I am not convinced people are above suspicion. Why leave any room for questioning and jealousy at the expense of your now partner? Everyone says how important trust is in a relationship but chances are your better half is going to feel rejected and like second choice if you continue to correspond with an ex. From the very beginning my husband and I knew it couldn’t work if past flames were involved in any way, even in the form of an occasional text message or email. This was the easiest thing for me to do because I was enamored with my husband. Completely fascinated. I mean stalker type obsessed. It was a little disturbing. I’m sure not all relationships are off to the same start as mine and certainly everyone isn’t as psychotic as me. Still, not everyone shares the same views on relationships as I do. This is shocking, because I have some great ideas on how one should sufficiently function. The only thing to do is ignore and dismiss any encounter an ex tries to make with you, unless you are not satisfied with your current attention situation and need extra. In that case, you should consider re-living your bar hopping glory days and forget about anything serious.