Random Topic Tueday

Today’s topic: Do you have any strange phobias? What's your biggest fear?

I will always worry about my loved ones and gasp loudly if someone is standing around a corner and I don’t expect it but I think my biggest personal fear is probably heights. I hate heights. I’m not even talking about skyscraper tall building heights. I mean any level of a building with an opening looking down on the floor below makes me anxious. My stomach has a dropping sensation and my hands get clammy. Even looking at pictures taken from up high doesn't make me feel great. I don’t know where this fear arose from because I certainly wasn’t always this nervous about it. There was no near death experience and nothing traumatic happened to me that would make me think twice about it. I won’t fly on planes, get on roller coasters and even riding escalators in shopping malls makes me grip the rail for dear life. It isn’t a strange phobia in the sense that it’s necessarily abnormal but I think the degree of it is a little more over the top than most people. Admitting it is the first step in overcoming it though, right? Or does that only apply to alcoholics?

What's your biggest fear? Do you think people find it strange?

Nursery Reveal

I'm happy to announce that the nursery is finally finished!I don't even remember when I started working on it but it's taken some time. Once I figured out what I wanted things progressed pretty smoothly. The hard part was making decisions. I wanted an elegant, feminine room with some whimsical elements and feel good about the choices I made. It's a tiny room and that made it a little difficult to photograph but I did my best. All that's missing is a baby girl to call it her own!

Peaceful sitting area

Crib bedding my mother in law hand made

DIY artwork

Little birdie nightlight

 

Threw in a picture of us on our wedding day. (She's there too, just a bean in my belly.)

Books and clock

Dresser decor

Chandelier

Tired.

I know I’ve been bad about updating my blog this week but I’ve been so overwhelmed and stressed with work that I haven’t found time and when I do have time I don’t feel like it. Right now I'm lying on the bed on my side with one hand under my head and typing with the other while taking breaks to stare off between sentences like a good crazy person does. I feel completely drained. I’m so tired and don’t feel motivated to do much of anything. I’ve been a little more emotional than usual too and I don’t really know why. I absolutely, one hundred percent feel like I'll have to be induced and won't go into labor on my own and think this is contributing to feeling down. My doctor said they won't let me go past 41 weeks and 6 days. That seems like forever and I really don't want this. She also said that if I want them to, they'll strip my membrane next Monday. I've heard mixed opinions on how painful this is and am not sure how effective it is. I've read people saying they went into labor shortly after but everyone I know found it useless. I'm wondering if anyone had a successful experience with it? I've decided I'm going to work my regular hours next week even though I am so tired and work has been a bitch. Maybe keeping active and busy will make the time pass a little quicker (or make it that much more daunting) and if she does come then labor is always a good excuse to leave early. I hope everyone had a great holiday and I will catch up on my regular reads eventually.

Belly Update

I'm 38 weeks along and feeling good.

 I don't feel like my pre-pregnancy self but I definitely don't have much if anything to complain about.

Pregnancy has been so good to me. Physically and emotionally both. My co-workers even tell me how upbeat and happy I've seemed ever since becoming pregnant. (If you think I'm pessimistic now, you didn't know me before.)

I appreciate everyone's advice on the whole natural induction methods and will try my best just being patient. People keep telling me how my belly looks like it's "dropped" and like she is ready to come out. I have been enjoying myself and the time spent daydreaming about life with baby.

I know my fantasies are not going to be what's real but it's nice to pretend. I know there will be late nights and early mornings with a cranky baby but all I can think about is the positives. I just hope for a healthy, happy baby and fast recovery.

WTF?! Friday

Today was so hectic and I'm glad it's over. Hope everyone has a good weekend!

I understand that parents can choose whatever name they'd like for their child. Not everyone is going to think it's a good choice or like the name. I also understand wanting to give your child something unique or uncommon.One couple recently named their baby after a video game character though. A video game character. So they could get a lifetime of free video games. His name is Dovahkiin. I'm not even going to pretend I know how to pronounce that. It's not the name itself that bothers me but the fact that they did it for a stupid contest to win games. Some people put more thought and consideration into naming their pets. WTF?!

I find magazines more and more useless everyday. The stories published are weeks behind what we already know and the layout of them is challenging for those of us who expect while reading an article to turn the page and have the rest of the story to be there. No. Why would it be that simple? Instead I see continued on page 96 at the bottom of page 34 while the next page is just a stupid advertisement. Who designs these things and why is it so hard? WTF?! 

I have a love/hate relationship with computers. My personal laptop crapped out on me this week with no warning signs or anything. Just died completely. I didn't spend a lot of money on it as far as technology goes but I've only had it about three years. That equals around $100 + dollars a year to use. That seems a little ridiculous to me. I may want to consider getting a library card and hanging out there in my free time. WTF?!

The model on the poster below is is shamefully the work of the company I work for. She's beautiful, the hair is great but the photographer missed one key mistake. He forgot to Photoshop her camel toe. She looks like a transsexual. I know the quality of this picture sucks but it might be better this way. It spares you the graphic details. WTF?!

I'm absolutely appalled at how attached people are to their damn phones. My co-worker was watching a video online while I was curiously peering over her shoulder (we're hard workers on occasion) and I thought the clip was a joke. A bride and groom were in the midst of saying their vows when the bride reaches into her cleavage, pulls out her phone and texts someone. The groom just watches her without saying anything. Something tells me she's the kind of girl who would have completely lost her mind if he did that to her. Do meaningful relationships exist anymore or is everything about texts and FB? WTF?!

Feeling Impatient

Everyone tells you how difficult and miserable the last weeks of pregnancy are and I'm starting to see their angle. I don't know why but I woke up today feeling so impatient and ready.I don't necessarily want her to come early, I know I still have things to do and I'd like to work as long as possible, but I have such a strong feeling she will be overdue. This thought is driving me nuts. I've already taken off six weeks from work starting on the 30th and want to spend as much time with her as possible before heading back. Ideally I would love for her to come on her actual due date (the 30th) but know that probably won't be the case. Anyway, my doctor suggested taking something called evening primrose oil to help soften the cervix. This is a slow process though and it's not proven to work but they think it does. I've read up on some other ways to naturally help speed things up but, again, nothing is guaranteed. The most common methods I hear are walking, sex, nipple stimulation and spicy foods. Pretty kinky. Has anyone done/heard of anything that actually worked for them or a friend? I know either way there isn't much time left but I'd really like to encourage this labor thing.

Random Topic Tuesday

Today’s topic: describe your taste in music.

This question often comes up in small talk on first dates while trying to avoid awkward silence, “What kind of music do you listen to?” and the most common response, “I listen to a little bit of everything.” I can say that this answer is not true for me. I know it makes me sound like a heap of fun but I don't even really like music all that much. I never listen to the radio except when forced to by my sisters while in the car and I might be the only person who doesn't have an I-pod. I find it more work to constantly shift through stations to find something that I can tolerate than it's worth. Don't get me wrong, I get why people like/love music. It’s amazing what words and instruments can do. Music can provoke feelings you thought all those years of therapy had buried for good. When I hear a good song it makes me feel good. I generally like music with a story that reflects emotion. Call me an unenthusiastic, melodramatic 15 year old but I like a lot of 90's grunge. Nirvana, Stone Temple Pilots, Pearl Jam... it all gets me in the mood to head-bang and set shit on fire. I like some oldies, most of them about relationships. Upbeat jazzy music like good ol' Frank Sinatra always gets my toes tapping. R&B can be good, mostly songs about love. I'm not down with rap, frankly because rappers are glorified thugs and I don't relate to shooting people or selling drugs. Tupac did have a few hits that I liked because he sent a message of change in some of his songs and his poetry is actually pretty decent. In the DC area there is by far the worst genre of music I have ever heard. It's called Go-go and it's ear piercing. Worse than nails on a chalkboard. It's a band of people shouting repetitive lyrics and banging on trashcans. It's archaic and primitive. Luckily it's not mainstream and for good reason. I don’t usually like pop music but I admit sometimes the beats can be catchy and there is a time and place for it. It just seems like most  music is mindless jibber jabber about materialistic things and sex. So there, I don't listen to everything. I'm not trying to sound like a music snob or deep and soulful person by any means but this is how I feel. I do respect other people's taste (or at least silently judge them) and I'm sure if I had to compose a song it would be terrible. I just don't understand how some artists are so popular and  really aren't talented at all.

What kind of music moves you?

WTF?! Friday

Hope my awesomely positive post puts everyone in great spirits for the weekend. Happy Friday!




I know everyone has heard enough about it but I can't believe people are defending the now former coach of Penn State and are angry about him getting fired, even protesting and turning to violence. If it were a murder he knew about and kept quite that could make him an accessory. I feel like people care more about their stupid football than about the innocence lost. It's also really upsetting that all this hoopla surrounding Joe Paterno has taken away from the real perpetrator and the true victims. WTF?!

I went to Subway for a sandwich and the guy at the counter asked me about my pregnancy. What gender the baby is, when I am due. Typical stuff. Then he asked me how old I am. I told him and he said he thought I was 16 or 17. I was in awe that he thought that and felt it was okay to say. Saying I look like a pregnant teenager makes me feel really self conscious and is offensive. He was clearly judging me the moment I walked in. I made sure I handed him my credit card with my left hand even though it felt awkward and I almost dropped it so he could see my engagement ring and wedding band. WTF though?!

 I was looking online for decor for the nursery and just so happened to find something on Ebay. I have never actually used the site so I created an account and placed a bid on the item I was interested in. The seller then contacted me saying that they didn't like the fact I was a new user and bid on their item. I was completely outraged and befuddled. Long story short I ended up not purchasing the item. I understand that no one should trust anyone online easily, especially when there's money involved but their suspicion was borderline paranoia. Really, what pleasure am I going to get out of holding out payment on a four dollar knickknack? Get it together crazy. WTF?!

Why is it so hard for just about every cashier to have a smile on their face or at least tell you your freaking total when checking out? I get it, you're miserable. Don't be rude to me when I'm polite and when I pay tell me what I owe! It's not hard. I know because I was a cashier before. I didn't love it but I was a good employee and only told people to shove it when they were rude to me first. (That's what good employee's do, right?) I know you encounter rude people all day but when someone is nice to you then attempt to make an effort. WTF?!

For the Future Mama to Be's

Idea for this post is courtesy of Shannon at Wifey Style with a Southern Smile.

1. Even if you're the most rational and reasonable person, at some point or another, you will probably have a mental breakdown caused by worry. Your body goes through so many changes and you question what's normal and what's a cause for concern. In the first and second trimester I called my doctor and went in for unscheduled appointments at least five times because I was scared something was amiss. Not to mention the hours spent searching the internet for answers, which may have caused some of my anxiety with all the horrible things you come across. By the third trimester I calmed down and though I still worry from time to time I am a lot more confident than before.


2. If you're uncomfortable with people commenting on your appearance then you may want to hibernate for the next 40 weeks. Get used to hearing, "Oh my gosh, you're getting so big!" Thanks. Just what I want to hear while I'm contemplating eating that cupcake that's been on my mind nonstop.

3. I hate when I order a decaf latte and the barista looks at me like I just asked for a syringe and some heroin. I also have ordered a tuna sandwich and been question by the server if tuna was okay to eat during pregnancy. No, it's not okay. I just like living on the edge and disregarding doctors orders. I know everyone has their differing views on what a pregnant woman shouldn't consume but I've done my research and questioned my doctor about what's safe and in what amount. Most people are probably just trying to be helpful but it's annoying nonetheless.

4. People not only comment on how big you are but they stare at your belly to let you know they think you're huge. Complete strangers downright gawk at me and my stomach. I'm pregnant, please stop eyeballing me like I'm a freaking mutant.

5. Sometimes new mothers or pregnant women get too personal and ask if I'm planning a "natural" childbirth. I'm not ashamed by any means but I know where the conversation is going to head once I hear this. Someone suggested I try hypnotherapy instead of an epidural. Let me get my damn drugs in peace and don't look down on me because you chose not to.

6. You learn to multitask pretty early on in pregnancy. Example: you can now sneeze and piss yourself at the same time. Prepare for your dignity to go out the window once expecting. Bodily things that should only happen in private happen very publicly. Your body doesn't care who's around.

7. I've mentioned before but pregnancy is 10 months long. 40 weeks is 10 months. I can't believe I have only three weeks left and I've made it thus far without attempting to strangle anyone. I hope you can too.

Random Topic Tuesday

I know I'm pretty late but today is still Tuesday so here it is. I'd apologize for the delay but honestly I know no one is devastated the way I wish they were. Enjoy. :)

Today's topic is: why do you blog?

I started my blog around March of 2010 and wrote a couple of entries which no one ever saw since I didn’t necessarily go public with it. It was open to anyone who happened to stumble across it in the virtual world but I never mentioned it or promoted it in any sense. I just wanted somewhere to vent and write my (mostly cynical) thoughts. Shortly after my husband proposed to me while wedding planning I found an online forum where other bride to be’s shared their blogs. I thought this would be a good opportunity to write about my experience and the process of everything. My blog could now have a theme and way to relate to people. I started writing about the upcoming wedding and documenting things like dress shopping and floral arrangements. I found bride and newlywed bloggers with great blogs and started connecting with them. It was a lot of fun to get their opinions on what I should do with my hair and to hear how much they liked my choices. The wedding came and went and so did my interest in talking about it. I was newly pregnant and this is what has consumed me for the past few months. I blog because I love hearing feedback from other mom's and mom to be's and even those who don't have children. It's a nice way of relating to others about things that I typically wouldn't just strike up a conversation about with strangers. I've found people to be so supportive. I'm not sure if they're nicer in the blog world than they would be in real life or not. It's easy to hide behind a computer screen and talk crap if you want to and I think it shows decent character for those who don't. I blog as as a way of documenting my life and sharing it with others. It's a little strange to be so open with the world and the internet can be a dangerous place filled with creepos but I trust that no one is interested in stalking me beyond the information I share here (*fingers crossed*). Mostly I blog because it's entertaining and I really enjoy it. I really hope I don't lose interest and continue to blog.

What inspired you to start blogging?

Doctor's Appointment

I went to the doctor today and will continue to go weekly until I deliver. I am 60% effaced which means baby is getting ready to be born but doesn't give any indication as to how soon. I had to sign the most grim consent form I've ever laid eyes on. It stated that I was aware of the dangers of childbirth including hemorrhaging, trauma, rupture, damage to my organs, complications to future pregnancies, a long list of other possible outcomes and death. If I wasn't already looking forward to labor I sure am now! I don't care if it makes me any less of a woman, I am terrified of giving birth.

Small Nursery Sneak Peek

I went shopping today for some items for the nursery and I am pretty pleased with what I got, especially since I wasn't feeling too well and kind of rushed through the store. I purchased a purple print pillow, a clear lamp and a soft, shaggy rug. I already had ordered the chandelier light fixture online and Matt's dad was nice enough to assemble and hang it for us. It's definitely the focal point in the room (until baby arrives) and I love it. It honestly looks better in person but I wanted to share a picture of it anyway. My mother in law and I finally decided on fabric for the crib skirt but still need to choose for the drapes. I found knobs for the dresser and have a tree wall decal on it's way in the mail. I think I'm going to get another shade for the lamp on the side table just because this one looks a little off and is kind of wobbly. I am really picky and sometimes it even annoys myself. I just want an elegant, feminine room that she can grow in to. I do wish sometimes our home were bigger because I really don't have much room to work with and things are pretty tight. I'm excited about how it is all coming together though and can't wait for it to be finished!

Chandelier and little sitting area. Click to enlarge!

WTF?! Friday

Have a great weekend everyone!

There will always be the dilemma parents face of whether or not to spank their children. I'm not going to get into my opinion on this, but to beat your child is wrong. As I’m sure you’ve all heard the internet is blowing up with a video of a Texas judge whipping his daughter with a belt because the teen downloaded music illegally. It was very graphic and disturbing. Parent's don't have that right to take advantage of and abuse their children. Pretty sure there are laws against that. I'm sure since he's a judge he'll walk away with nothing more than a slap on the wrist. I'm sick of people that are crappy parents reproducing. WTF?!

I'm not going to argue that I'm less lazy than the average person, unless the following is an example of your typical Joe.WTF?!

I think some people subconsciously try to commit suicide. I work in a busy little town with lots of pedestrians and lots of drivers. Today alone I've seen so many jaywalkers strolling across the street when the crosswalk clearly says not to and cars are quickly approaching. And the thing that drives me nuts is that they're completely oblivious to the fact that they're doing it and are talking on the phone or texting, taking their sweet time. One guy started crossing and stopped in the middle of the street for no reason whatsoever. He literally just stood there. Two cars from both sides of the street had the green light and had to stop while he figured out how his legs worked. It made me so mad. If you don't realize that a 4,000 pound racing piece of steel and glass can kill you then maybe you deserve a little tap as a wake up call (okay, maybe a ticket would be less drastic). Still, WTF?!

I just saw a commercial advertising The Big Screen store (wherever there's one of those) and their great deals. You can get a 73" flat screen, a 42" flat screen and a bonus TV stand all yours FREE for just $1,799. Can't find an error with that one. WTF?!

36 weeks!

Happy November! 29 more days until my due date. Time is beginning to slow down it seems but it feels like this pregnancy has passed by fairly fast til this point. Physically I can't complain too much. My belly is in the way of everything and it is a struggle to do things like reach over and shut the car door. My back hurts a lot. When I get up from sitting or laying down my body has to adjust to the strain of all this weight and I kind of hobble around like an injured animal. I know things could be a lot more uncomfortable and I am grateful to not have bad heartburn or anything else that a lot of women go through in the last stage. This is going to sound kind of dumb but I'm not sure if I've been experiencing Braxton Hicks contractions or not. My stomach gets hard sometimes but usually only in the center and not anywhere else. I have been feeling menstrual like cramps a lot but that was true in the first and second trimester as well. The cramps feel more intense than the typical growing pains of my uterus expanding though. Can you have real contractions without being in labor? This pregnancy thing is way over my head.

Random Topic Tuesday

Just wanted to let everyone know that I have a guest post on my wedding today over at Petchies BlogBook! She's a super cute soon to be bride planning her wedding. Go check it out and feel free to leave a comment. :)

Today's topic is: your earliest memory

Prior to becoming pregnant I had a ridiculously good memory. My first being at the young age of just two years old. I know that sounds impossible but it's true. It was a spring or summer afternoon and I was with my grandma, sister and mom and we were going to McDonald's. I was wearing a pink, ruffled dress. As we were walking inside, I remember seeing a bee fly by. Once inside I was in the large play room that catered to children with arcade like video games, a ball room, slides and other entertainment. I was playing a Sesame Street video game and the next thing I remember was screaming at the top of my lungs. I saw my mom at the counter about to pay when her and my grandma rushed over to me. That little bee I so innocently walk by had flown up my dress without me knowing and stung me right on the neck. Little bastard. The hospital was literally right across the street and I was admitted there for whatever treatment they give to two year olds stung by bees. The hospital gave me a teddy bear, which I think played music because I remember unzipping it's back and there was a sound box. I thought this was the funniest thing, because to me I was unzipping the bears butt and this was just hysterical. I don't know how long I was in the hospital, probably a few hours, possibly one day but the whole experience was enough to be burned in my memory and still make me flinch and runaway whenever I see a bee to this day.

What's your earliest memory? How old were you? Did it influence who you grew up to be in any way?