01 January 2011

Maybe I'll Leave My Pessimistic Attitude in 2010.. Eh, Screw It.

2010 has been a good year. Lots of little everyday pleasures, plus one of the happiest and fondest memories I will hold dear to my heart forever: the engagement! New Years can be a time of excitement, hope, and anticipation for the promise of a fresh start. It's one last drunken hurrah, one final celebration before stumbling into the unknown. Like Christmas to Scrooge, New Years for me this go around is less than appealing. Okay, maybe I'm not THAT bad but I feel drained and unenthused. I know 2011 is going to be a great year, I just don't want to get swept away in false beliefs that things are magically going to change themselves because of a number on a calender. There are things I have been telling myself I need to do-year after year- and yet somehow I manage to push it aside. I want this to be the year I find myself, my "calling" in life. I feel so lost sometimes thinking about how other people are doing what they love, what they feel they should be here doing and I still don't know what direction to take. Sure, a lot of people aren't happy with their occupation. I don't ever want to get stuck or feel stuck somewhere and I think that is why I have held off thus far on deciding on a career. I wish someone could decide for me. I wish someone could tell me what I would be good at and enjoy doing (while making money). I am not really in a position where I can quit my job and do some soul searching, plus that wouldn't be very responsible even if I could. I am not financially okay enough nor do I have the time to just go back to school and figure it out in the process of learning. I know it takes time and not everyone decides to go to school for something and end up doing it. A lot of people don't even use the degree they earn and take an entirely different route. I read that the average number of careers a person will hold in their life is three. Average number of jobs is eleven. I am on my second job and have a long way to go if this is true. I have bounced back and forth in my mind about different options but always end up fearing whether or not it's the right choice. Will I be miserable? Will I regret it? Should I suck it up and just be happy I have a means to make money? Things DO have a way of working themselves out but you always have to take the initiative. I just don't know where that first step is going to land me or when I will have the courage to jump. Anyway, sorry for being so negative. I really needed to vent. Any advice or inspiration will help.

1 Thoughts :

Rose January 1, 2011 at 9:58 PM  

Don't worry, it might be stressful now, but holding off to find what is perfect for you will benefit you in the long run. Be patient and remain optimistic... I can't wait to read a post when you found what is perfect for you :)