04 October 2011

Random Topic Tuesdays

Sometimes, like most bloggers, I slack a bit on blogging. Most the time this is because I’m too tired but sometimes I run out of stuff to talk about, so I thought I would try something new on my blog and write about a different topic every week. This keeps my supply fresh and helps my readers get to know me better. (Who wouldn’t wanna know random stuff about this complete stranger?) Tuesday seems like a good day, so I made a little picture and dubbed it Random Topic Tuesdays. Hope you guys enjoy and if you like a topic then feel free to join in! I'd love to learn more about you too. 

This week is: your ever changing goal in life.

I am a very indecisive person. About pretty much everything. From everyday tasks like what to wear and what to eat to slightly larger things like decorating my home and choosing a bank. One direction I have yet to determine is a career path. I truly admire people who have it all figured out. The “I’ve always wanted to be a lawyer so I did it,” type. (Just FYI I don’t admire lawyers. Just people who know they want to be lawyers.) It’s amazing to me that anyone can commit themselves and put so much effort into a choice they aren’t entirely sure they’ll be happy with. I have gone back and forth between options so many times and thought about so many various occupations. Photographer, counselor, novelist, hair stylist, teacher. I asked everyone what they thought I would be good at, what they thought I should do. I wanted someone else to pick for me. People offered suggestions, most of which were to work with children. I knew if I blindly just picked something I wouldn’t be any happier. Nothing seemed right for me. I didn't feel I had a "calling" in life to do anything particular. I went through the “soul searching” stage in life where I got really depressed about not knowing where I was heading.  I felt like I was a failure because I wasn’t pursuing a profession. I felt like people were judging me based on what I did. I was consumed with an awful feeling and I beat myself up a lot about it.

Life was moving forward despite me feeling like I was at a standstill though. I was in the best relationship of my life and knew I had something most people can only dream of. A real, honest connection with another person who loved me more than anyone ever had. With that I learned so much and slowly started to accept myself. I wasn’t consumed with negative thoughts and contemplated who I was really trying to change myself for. I realized I was happy and that it was everyone else I was trying to please. Now I don’t really ponder the course life will take because I am satisfied with myself and know that I don’t have to impress other people. I have it so good and am living the American dream. I have almost all of the big stuff figured out. I have a great home, loving husband, baby on the way and I feel so happy with the way life is heading. I don’t really care if anyone thinks I’m good enough or not. True happiness doesn’t come from how much money you make or what kind of educational background you have. It comes from the people you love, the approach you take on life but more importantly it comes from acknowledging your own self worth. I might not have it all together but I'm okay with that.

So there you have it. My ever changing, undecided goal in life. What's yours?

10 Thoughts :

Caiti October 4, 2011 at 4:59 PM  

This is a great post. And I can really relate to you. But, like you said, at the end of the day all the things the "world" would pat you on the back for are not what is truly important. People and relationships are what will make a person happy. :)

marie October 4, 2011 at 11:44 PM  

I completely understand. I have always known I wanted to be a mom, but other than that, I have no clue. Good thing this mom thing is keeping me busy. I actually went to school and waited tables simultaneously for many years and loved doing both. I totally look back on on my waitressing days with such fondness, it was a great time in my life.

But generally I am very decisive. My mom and sister on the other hand can't make a decision to save their life and it drives me nuts.

Amanda @ New Adventures October 5, 2011 at 12:02 AM  

What a great idea to help get over the blog blahs :)

Thanks for sharing!

Ashley {hudson's happenings} October 5, 2011 at 12:19 AM  

Wow! You have a great way of sharing your thoughts....that is such a hard question!! I feel like I am constantly trying to "plan" my life. My ever changing goal is basically just trying to live according to my plan. However, I have recently discovered that living according to a perfectly laid plan does not WORK....so I'm trying to go with the flow. I feel like that didn't answer that question at all....Ha. Maybe it sort of made sense. ;)

Heidi October 5, 2011 at 2:18 AM  

Such a good question! All I want to do is take pictures and be with my family. If someone would pay me to travel around in an RV with my husband and kids and document it, I would be the happiest girl on the planet. :)

Tory K October 5, 2011 at 8:43 AM  

I am going through this right now! I'm constantly going back and forth about what I want to do and what will be the best career pathway choice. My husband is probably getting tired of my constant talking about what the heck I should REALLY do. I really like the conclusion you reached. :) It is so true, and a happy ending!

P! October 6, 2011 at 12:12 AM  

This is the first time in my entire time blogging where I feel like somebody GETS IT. I know I shouldn't be jealous, but I really struggle when I read about young ladies our age who are either going to college for their dream or working in a career they've always wanted. I have NEVER had that. I have never known what I want to do, and honestly, my currently studies in school I pursued simply because other people told me I'd be good at it. I admire your ability to come to terms with not having a set path; I wish I could get there, but it still stresses me out all the time. I seriously feel so grateful to know I'm not alone for the first time!! Thank you, friend!! :) This is a great idea for those days where you just don't know what to write. As you said, "Who wouldn’t wanna know random stuff about this complete stranger?" HAHAHA!

Krista October 6, 2011 at 9:40 AM  

I think a lot of people can probably relate to this, I know I can. I always wanted to do something with design, even have a degree in graphic design but that is not where my life has led me so far. I am currently in manufacturing and while its not particularly stimulating, I love the people I work with. I have my own jewelry design business but have recently had to put it on hold (again) because life just dictated it. At first I was embarrassed at having to tell people its on hold again but I am a mom and wife first so I've learned to accept there will probably a constant ebb and flow where the business is concerned.

It is wonderful that you have learned to love yourself and your situation just the way you are....it really is so freeing. Looking forward to hearing more from you!

The Presutti's October 6, 2011 at 8:40 PM  

Dental Hygienist, Cook, Baker, Doctor, Marine Biologist, Mommy. Girl mine change every day!! I'm with you!

Holly October 9, 2011 at 2:17 AM  

I really like this post. I am very indecisive too, although once I decide I want to do something, I usually jump in and do it pretty quickly; like at the beginning of last year.

I never in my life thought I wanted to be a teacher, but then my mum suggested I should apply for a grad course in education, so I did. And much to my surprise, I got in.

I'm STILL not sure whether teaching is really what I want to do with my life forever...but it suits me for now. :)